I absolutely love when people ask me how the “foster thing” is going. It always makes my heart smile that someone is interested in this journey that Greg, Collins, and I are on. What I dislike though, is trying to answer the question without injecting negativity into the answer. I usually say “it’s going” and change the subject. I don’t like to get too into it or provide too many details because honestly, I feel a little deflated right now and I don’t want to bring others down with me. In the name of transparency, this is not going to plan. We thought we would have a placement by now. We thought we would be using the room that we set up for the child. But, here we are in November and we are still waiting.
We actually have gotten two calls from our case worker. The first time she called, she had a pair of siblings. A boy and a girl. A little boy younger than Collins and a little girl older. The little girl is known to be violent towards other children, especially ones younger than her. I called Greg and we discussed the situation but decided to turn down the placement. Greg pointed out that nothing about the placement met the boundaries we set. We wanted one child, not 2. We wanted a child younger than Collins, not older. We could have probably worked around those two things, but we couldn’t get past the little girl being violent. If she was to hurt Collins in any way, we would never forgive ourselves. We would also have to ask for her to be removed from our home and she would be displaced…again. It was an absolutely heartbreaking decision to make and a miserable phone call to make to our case worker, but we ultimately had to say no for the safety of our sweet girl.
About a month after the first call, I emailed our case worker and her Supervisor and voiced my concerns about still not having a placement. We were approved in July and other families I know have gotten placements but we were still waiting. The email was nice and I asked some honest questions. Have we done something wrong? Should we be doing more? Have we made someone mad?? I immediately got a call from our case worker and she explained that we aren’t doing anything wrong and that there are just not any babies in the system right now. I don’t know if I completely believe that, but I am hopeful it’s true! As much as we want a child to take care of, we need to focus on the big picture and be hopeful that by not having a placement means there are less babies being abused and neglected or at least so many families available to foster that we are just too far down on the list.
We got another call about 3 weeks ago. There was an infant girl that was in the hospital and needed a family to come pick her up. JACKPOT. It was happening!! However, we were in Florida on vacation. Because, of course we were, right? The case worker said we would have to leave immediately and she couldn’t promise they could hold her the 10 hours it would take for us to get home. We decided that it was best for us to stay in Florida (we just arrived about 12 hours before) and enjoy our vacation. We are clinging to the “everything happens for a reason” logic. I don’t doubt we did the right thing but my stomach hurts when I think about the “what -if’s”.
So here we are. We are still waiting. We don’t know if we will get a call tomorrow or if it will be another 6 months. We don’t know what to expect or when to expect it. We still leave our ringers on at night and still answer any calls coming from KY in hopes that a baby out there needs us. We have kept busy and are trying to keep Collins busy. We lost our sweet 16 year old dog a month ago and that was brutal on all of us. Since then, we have a puppy named Ellie. She is the exact distraction that we need. Vacation was wonderful and we are looking forward to the holidays. Hopefully, my next post will be an announcement that we got a placement. As always, we will take all the prayers and good thoughts you want to send.